I’m sassy, snarky, and I don’t usually like to play by the rules.
However, I’m not exactly where I thought I would be in my life on the cusp of turning thirty. I spend the majority of my free time re-watching American Horror Story on Netflix. I binge-eat when I’m feeling sad. I spend way too much money on comic books and makeup. I’m low-key addicted to expensive coffee. I think my savings account has cobwebs in it. I could totally sleep for sixteen hours a day. I’m every bad habit and deadly sin rolled up into one big, messy ball of stress and anxiety.
I’ve dealt with bipolar, depression, and anxiety since my early teens, battled an addiction to self-injury for over fifteen years, and been to more therapists than I can count. Things are better when I’m medicated, but my medication is only as good as my remembering to take it.
It’s time to get my shit together.
I’m tired of spending endless nights watching Netflix, eyes half-glazed over, wondering, “is this it?? Is this really all my life is?” I’m fed up with the same shitty routines and the same shitty habits and the same shitty mental health leading to the same shitty decisions. I deserve better from myself.
Any of this sounding eerily familiar?
We all deserve better from ourselves. Knowing when to listen to that little voice in your head and knowing when to give it the finger isn’t always the easiest thing. My little brain voice has been telling me how much I suck for the last twenty-nine years, and it’s only been recently that I’m beginning to learn how to quiet it. If you’re anything like me, you probably have a good idea of how to start taking better care of yourself (and being nicer to yourself), but it’s the putting-it-into-action part that keeps tripping you up. Eating healthy, taking care of yourself, saving money, waking up early— all of these things sound crazy simple in theory, so why are they so hard to get right?
I don’t know about you, but I am beyond ready to start feeling better about myself and my life. I don’t have everything (okay, let’s be real— anything) figured out yet, but that’s why we’re here. Let’s make plans and set goals and work hard. Let’s celebrate the small steps and every moment of our successes along the way. Let’s learn from the things that don’t work out, and keep killing it with the things that do. Let’s tell our anxiety and fear and doubt to go to hell, and let’s learn to appreciate the best in ourselves. Let’s be straight up bad-asses that decide what we want for our lives, and go after it like crazy.
You don’t have to have everything figured out— I definitely don’t. Just pick a starting point, and we’ll figure all our shit out together along the way.
P.S. I have a personal blog, Bitchcraft, where I hang out and talk about life in a considerably less family-friendly fashion (but with way more awesome gifs!) So if I’m not posting here, you can always check over there. If I’m not posting there either.. maybe check the obituaries?